My webhost upgraded to PHP7. Sadly, it is not compatible with the older version of Joomla I was using to run the site. After many struggles (Joomla was no longer working, so I couldn't login to upgrade it, and the webhost no longer allowed me to roll back to an older version of PHP) I was able to recover the data and migrate it to a current version of Joomla. But I still need to come up with a new template, as my previous template is not compatible with the newer Joomla.
Or, I figure out how to migrate to WordPress. Joomla templates have gotten crazy complex since I last monkied with them. And the good ones have moved to a subscription format. I don't really need all the bells and whistles, so I may just go to WP.
Anyway. I discovered all these issues when I went to actually post something here. More on that later. This is one of the default templates. It'll have to do until I figure this out.